Dirty Little Secret Read online

  I closed my eyes, thinking of the way he’d dropped his card into the jar at the coffee shop.

  It had been on purpose. There was no doubt.

  He’d wanted someone—maybe me?—to know the truth. That he was the president of what appeared to be a rather kinky dating site.

  I still couldn’t wrap my head around it. All these months, I’d fantasized about him being some sexy attorney or investor, not a man involved in something so depraved.

  From what I could gather on the website, it wasn’t a sleazy operation where money exchanged hands for sex. It was more upscale than that—a CEO needs a date for a charity gala type of thing.

  But, still. It was called Forbidden Desires. Surely some secret fantasies were being acted out. Surely it wasn’t all innocent. It reeked of rich, powerful men who got what they wanted, and took it by force when necessary.

  My skin broke out into goose bumps despite the warm water.

  Inhaling a deep, calming breath through my nostrils, I lifted my favorite novel from its resting place beside the tub, opened the worn pages, and pushed the swirling thoughts from my brain.

  My damp fingers soothed the deep crease on the dog-eared page as my eyes skimmed the words. I nearly knew the whole thing by heart.

  I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul. Pablo Neruda’s “Sonnet XVII” was a favorite, and his words slid through me like a knife through softened butter.

  After reading a few pages but not absorbing much, I stepped from the tub and toweled off. My mind was still firmly on that silky business card I’d nabbed earlier.

  My old house was drafty and cold, so I wrapped myself in a plush floor-length robe before wandering to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of chocolate milk from the carton in the fridge.

  Simply wishing I had the courage to take a leap wasn’t going to change my situation. The only thing that could change the course of my destiny was action.

  And as scared as I was, I was more scared not to try . . . more scared of never knowing what the man behind those piercing hazel eyes was like.

  Grabbing my phone from the counter, I opened the website that had taunted me all day, hovering my finger over the screen.

  With the information I’d already uncovered, I should be afraid. I should run the other way—throw away his business card and erase him from my memory. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it, so I did the one thing I knew I shouldn’t.

  I took a deep breath and clicked the Contact Us icon.

  Chapter Two

  Gavin

  “Alyssa? Can you get your ass in here?” Fuck. “Please?”

  I smirked at myself, proud that I’d asked nicely this time. She’d given me hell last week, said she was tired of the way I barked orders through the intercom all day.

  She was the best executive assistant in the city of Boston, and didn’t hesitate to let me know when I was out of line, which was often. I couldn’t risk her deserting me. So, like it or not, I needed to mind my manners now and again.

  “Mr. Kingsley.” Alyssa raised her eyebrows as she entered my office and stopped beside my desk. “You rang?”

  I met her gaze and held out a single sheet of paper.

  “Our newest client is Troy Drake.” When she simply leveled me with a blank stare, I prompted, “Tech CEO, and cousin to the billionaire entrepreneur Colton Drake?”

  She shook her head. “I’m not familiar.”

  “Doesn’t matter. My point is that he’s an important client.”

  Her light eyes flashed with understanding and she nodded, making her black ponytail swing behind her narrow face. “Of course, sir. I’m happy to pair him with whichever woman he desires.”

  “Good.” I released a heavy sigh. Not that I’d expected Alyssa to put up a fight. She might not have been regularly obedient, but she knew when things counted, and this client definitely did.

  Troy Drake had already given me a fat deposit, and I wanted him happy. He’d just recently moved to the East Coast, said he didn’t know anyone yet. Plus, he was wealthy beyond belief, with deep pockets and even deeper connections. If we made him a satisfied client, I had a feeling he’d not only stay with us for years to come, but would also refer his colleagues our way.

  Not that we were desperate for business—quite the opposite, actually. After five years in business, my brothers and I were now clearing eight figures annually, and the upside was limitless. But being from the wrong side of the tracks and building our wealth from nothing bred a constant hunger for more. We could never allow ourselves to get too comfortable or to lose focus.

  As Alyssa stepped away from my desk, I held up my hand, silently asking her to stay put.

  “What’s the problem?” she asked, more than a little familiar with my mannerisms by now.

  I pinched the bridge of my nose between two fingers and met her narrowed gaze again. “He’s been through the database, and no one struck his fancy.”

  Alyssa blinked twice. “No one?”

  Our girls were top notch. I should know; I’d sampled a few of them myself. But this guy was young, attractive, and loaded, and he certainly wasn’t desperate for a date. He had come to us because wanted something special. Something discreet. A sure thing.

  And I wanted to provide it. It was kind of my thing. I’d never met a client I couldn’t turn into a satisfied customer, and had never met a woman I couldn’t bed. I didn’t want things to change now, not right when I was on the cusp of something great.

  “I have an idea,” Alyssa said, grinning like she knew something I didn’t. “I may have someone in mind, actually. There’s a new girl here for an interview with Sonja right now. She could be perfect. Articulate. Demure. Very pretty.”

  I nodded. “Perfect. Send her in when they’re through.”

  Alyssa paused but nodded all the same. I didn’t often interview the girls myself, but I had a special interest in keeping this client happy. She left, closing the heavy mahogany door behind her, and I turned my attention back to my in-box.

  A few seconds later, the door opened again and my younger brother, Cooper, strolled into my office with his hands in his pockets and an easy grin on his face.

  “Hey,” he said, either not noticing or not caring that I hadn’t invited him in and was clearly busy.

  Annoyed, I glared at him. “What do you want, Cooper?”

  He chuckled and slid into the leather chair across from me. “Nice way to greet me, asshole. I just wanted to tell you the corporate quarterly tax payment is going to be slightly higher than we projected. But not to worry, we have the funds to cover it.”

  “And why is it going to be higher than anticipated?”

  He shrugged. “We’re making more money than expected. It’s a good thing.”

  I waited, knowing Cooper was about to crack a joke or tell me about his latest exploit with one of the girls. It was his afternoon ritual, despite the fact that he knew it annoyed me. Though, to be fair, half my annoyance had to do with the fact that Cooper, six years younger than me, still had that playful quality those of us past thirty seemed to lose.

  My intercom buzzed again.

  “Mr. Kingsley?” Alyssa’s crisp voice blared over the speaker. “A Miss Emma Bell is finished with Sonja. Shall I send her in?”

  Who? Oh, right. Probably the potential escort for Mr. Drake.

  “Send her in.”

  When Cooper shot me a questioning glance, I shook my head. “You can stay. This should just take a minute.”

  The door opened, and in walked five and a half feet of luscious curves and a body built for sin balanced precariously on a pair of black stilettos. My cock gave a twitch, eager to say hello.

  Finally, I lifted my gaze to her face, and all the breath left my lungs in a whoosh.

  It was the girl from the coffee shop.

  What the fuck is she doing here?

  She was a classic girl-next-door
type. A walking wet dream. Someone I had no right to desire, but I wanted all the same.

  I could have ended this a long time ago, could have chosen a different coffee shop, could have used that overpriced espresso machine sitting on my kitchen counter, yet I’d done none of those things. And instead of putting her out of my mind, I’d left my business card on a whim, hoping she’d miss my cue or ignore it.

  And perversely hoping she wouldn’t.

  Now, here she was, and I felt like I’d been kicked in the chest. We’d been building to this moment for too long—something had to give. And damn if it wasn’t sexy the way she’d taken matters into her own hands. It was ballsy, and I couldn’t deny it. I was intrigued.

  I glanced at her, looking for recognition in her eyes, but if she knew we’d met before, she certainly didn’t show it. Instead, her hands were clasped patiently in front of her, forcing her cleavage together in a perfect little vee as she stared past me blankly.

  Was it just an act, the same way I’d pretended not to notice her every morning at the coffee shop had been? Or was she toying with me?

  All my senses were humming, on high alert, and I was more interested in something than I’d been in a long time. Energy buzzed in the air around us, and I took a moment to compose myself.

  Chewing on her lower lip, she stopped in front of my desk.

  “Miss Bell?” I asked, snapping out her name curtly.

  She gave me a tight nod, her eyes not yet daring to meet mine.

  “Gavin Kingsley, and this is my younger brother, Cooper.”

  Her eyes locked with mine at last, and my gut clenched at the determination blazing in that steely sapphire gaze.

  “Sit down.” I hadn’t intended the command to come out so briskly, but it had, and she immediately lowered herself into the seat across from me and beside Cooper. With another surge, my cock swelled again at her willingness to obey my commands.

  Down, boy.

  “What brings you to Forbidden Desires today?” I asked, my voice cool.

  She opened her mouth to speak, but when only a soft whimper came out, she cleared her throat to start again.

  If she was going to act like we didn’t know each other, far be it from me to spoil her ruse.

  “Would you like something to drink?” I asked with a smile.

  “No, thank you.”

  It was the first time I’d ever heard her voice outside of her usual order. It was a potent combination of feminine and sweet, one that had once brought me to my knees.

  “Tea, perhaps?” I couldn’t help the smirk tugging at my lips as I waited to see if she’d react to that.

  She shook her head, though by the way her eyes flashed, I knew the joke hadn’t escaped her. “I’m fine.”

  “Then please enlighten us.” I gestured for her to go ahead.

  Cooper’s eyes narrowed, and I knew what he was thinking. Why the fuck are you being such a dick?

  “Sir?” she asked, her gaze confused as she tried to understand what I wanted from her.

  “Why are you here at Forbidden Desires, Miss Bell?”

  “I was . . . intrigued. By your website.” She paused again, weighing her words. “I thought I’d come in and see what you had to offer.”

  About nine inches of hard—

  I cleared my throat and cut that thought short. Leaning forward, I placed my palms flat on my desk. “I’m sorry, but I’m not buying it. A beautiful woman like yourself, what could you possibly be doing here?”

  “I—”

  “You need money, is that it?”

  Her eyes narrowed. “No, nothing like that.” Her attention flicked to Cooper, whose narrowed gaze was still trained on me.

  “What then?” I pressed. “What is it that you’re looking for?”

  Watching me intently for several more seconds, she drew a steadying breath that made her nostrils flare slightly. She seemed to be gathering her inner strength.

  “Adventure.”

  She hurled the word with enough force to tell me that this one had spirit. There was the backbone I’d been wondering about.

  This was ridiculous. I was sure that my clients—including Drake—would eat this woman for breakfast.

  It was exactly that thought that made me want to usher her right out the door. Since the second she’d walked in, one realization had become clear. I couldn’t have her. I wanted her too much. Giving in to a clawing need like this would ruin us both. That much I knew from experience. But for some strange reason, the thought of anyone else having her made my hands clench into fists.

  Leaving my card had been a grave error on my part. I’d gotten cocky, thought I could handle it, but I was dead wrong. Now to get her out of my sight before I couldn’t resist the urges that were stirring deep inside.

  “Sorry, but I can’t help you.” I rose from my desk and she mirrored my stance, rising to her feet on shaky heels.

  “Surely, that’s your job, Mr. Kingsley,” she said softly. “To cater to people’s . . . desires?”

  Our tense standoff stretched out for several seconds, during which Emma refused to back down and my cock twitched in interest yet again.

  Fuck.

  I had too much to lose now, too many people counting on me. She was a distraction. And in my line of work, she was one I couldn’t afford. I needed her gone.

  “Certain dark things are meant to be explored in secret, don’t you think?” she asked, her voice gaining confidence. When my gaze flitted to hers, a smile unfurled on her lips.

  “One point on which we well agree, Miss Bell.”

  Even as the warning bells blared in my head, I couldn’t seem to force myself to make her go.

  Chapter Three

  Emma

  Holy hell.

  Gavin Kingsley was the most intense, arrogant, and infuriating man I’d ever met. I didn’t know whether to stomp out of his office or to curse him out. But I was raised better than that, so I sat there with my lips pursed, watching him, waiting to see what he’d do or say next. So far, he’d been anything but what I’d expected.

  His intense gaze held mine, holding me captive. The weight of his stare was much too sensual, almost as if . . . as if it were his calloused fingertips grazing my bare skin. Blood rushed to my cheeks, and to certain other parts of my body, against my will.

  Both he and his brother appeared smug, like all of this was familiar territory for them and they were used to getting their way. They were both dashingly handsome, of course, each over six feet tall, well-muscled and broad. Gavin’s square jaw was dusted with yesterday’s stubble, and his hazel eyes drilled into me so intently, it was hard not to gasp. While Gavin’s suit was impeccably tailored, his tie still knotted neatly at his throat, Cooper’s tie hung loosely about his neck. The younger brother had ditched his coat somewhere, and the sleeves of his once-crisp white shirt were rolled up to his elbows, exposing strong, tanned forearms.

  So similar in some ways, but totally different in others.

  I hadn’t figured them out, not by a long shot, but it didn’t matter. My time here was done.

  The men made eye contact over my head, seeming to communicate something I wasn’t privy to.

  Gavin’s lips pulled into a slant as he looked back at me again. “If you’re here looking for love, if you think you’re going to find it, that’s not what we do here.”

  What had I been hoping to find?

  That he’d recognize me and declare his undying devotion? Or maybe leap up and take me in his arms? Tell me he’d been waiting for me for so long?

  What an idiot I’d been. Instead, he’d leered at my breasts for a second and then made a joke about my morning tea, the only indication that he recognized me at all.

  Gavin wasn’t a fantasy. He was a nightmare.

  Shame poured over me, forcing heat to rush to my cheeks. “It was obviously a mistake to come here. Excuse me.”

  Real life was not some romance novel. In
fact, this moment seemed to belong to the horror genre, or maybe even dark comedy, depending on your outlook. Either way, I wouldn’t subject myself to his patronizing questions any longer.

  “One second,” Cooper said, stepping between us. “Give us just a minute, would you, princess?”

  I met his gaze and wet my lower lip with the tip of my tongue. The term of endearment coming from his mouth was tender and unexpected. He had kind eyes, and in that moment, for some strange reason I trusted him, much more than I probably should.

  “Okay,” I said.

  Cooper escorted me to the door, and when we stepped into the hall, he muttered under his breath, “He’s being a prick.”

  “Is that unusual?” Maybe this was just the way Gavin operated. All I had to go on was viewing him in a coffee shop. I knew nothing of the man, but so far, this didn’t seem all that out of character.

  Rather than answer, Cooper frowned. “Give me two minutes with him. We’ll sort this out.”

  Heaving a sigh, I stood my ground. “One minute.”

  “You won’t leave? I know you said it’s not about the money, but I have a great idea that could benefit us all, and we pay well. Very well,” he said, his voice softer than I would have imagined for such a big man.

  “I’ll wait,” I said, although I fisted my hands at my sides in self-disgust. I had no reason to stay. In less than five minutes, I had been insulted in more ways than I could count by a man I knew was my type—which made things all the worse. But the thought of being able to pay off what I owed on the brownstone and get ahead a little was tempting.

  Almost as tempting as getting inside enigmatic Gavin Kingsley’s head and figuring out what the hell he was thinking. It was a curse. The same quality that made me a great researcher and a dedicated librarian also made me almost tragically curious. I couldn’t stand a puzzle unsolved, and Gavin was definitely that.

  Cooper went back inside the office and closed the door behind him with a soft click, leaving me to wonder what exactly they were discussing, since the general topic was obviously me.